QUIZ: Are you a BUM?

So, a lot has happened since my last post. For one thing, I am befuddled by the formatting on WordPress. I give up trying to fix my numbered list, below. You’ll figure it out. Also paragraph spacing is a work in progress.
ANYWAY
Now that I’m a single woman, a friend and I were talking about the world of dating. We couldn’t agree about whether or not he’s a bum. Odd topic, I know.
I fancy myself a bit of an expert at identifying ‘bums”, since I’ve dated so many. Anyway, I thought I’d compose a little quiz for my friend’s and my mutual enlightenment. It turned out to be worth sharing!
Disclaimer: I know I’m conjuring the image of a homeless person by using the term “bum”. I’ve dated a homeless person and I’ve dated non-homeless people. I assure you, I can tell the difference between a homeless person and a “bum”. They are not always the same thing.
NOTE: All answers are excerpts from my extended research based on participant observation (i.e. My life. True story.)
Take this fun little quiz to see how you fare!
QUIZ: ARE YOU A BUM?
Choose the answers below that best suit your circumstance. At the end, add up your results to find out if you are, in fact, a BUM.
  1. DO YOU HAVE A JOB?
    1. Yes. I meet my financial obligations (that means you pay the bills and support the people you are responsible for) and have a little left over for fun stuff.
    2. Sometimes. But I only work at stuff I like, and I’m behind on the rent in my basement bachelor suite. Do you have an extra bedroom? Are you going to eat that sandwich?
    3. No. I worked last month, remember? Besides, I’m busy writing (my novel, my poetry, my play, my jokes. Fill in the blank. It`s important, though, that they`re not ACTUALLY writing anything).
    4. Jobs are so bourgeois.
    5. I have asked you repeatedly not to interrupt me when I’m thinking
  2. ARE YOU AN ADDICT OF ANY KIND?
    1. No. I may or may not drink socially. I can have fun without abusing any substance, drugs, alcohol or other.
    2. No. Listen, Baby, do you think you know what an alcoholic is? I KNOW what an alcoholic is. My DAD – now, HE was a drunk. You’ve nevr ss seeeen a all co hhoolic! (pours another beer).
    3. My doctor thinks I should go to rehab. But I don’t have time, and I’m scared I’d lose my job. Hey, can you do me a solid and lend me some of your Imovane? I’m all out.
    4. That wasn’t me snorting coke. My friends didn’t tell me they’d be doing that. I was just watching, and I was just about to leave. Really? Why are you so paranoid?
    5. A vaporizer has many uses. It’s not just for inhaling marijuana. You can also use medicinal herbs with it.
  3. DO YOU RESPECT MY INTERESTS?
    1. Yes. I don’t share them all, but I think they make you interesting. I’ve tried some of them and learned something from you. I appreciate your support. I love that you respect my interests too.
    2. Ya Baby! You go ahead and do your stuff! (Fill in the blank with ANYTHING I’m interested in) is not my thing though. You go on and have fun.
    3. It’s okay, I think. But don’t mention it to my parents, okay?
    4. What do they cost?
    5. How do you sit like that all day just reading?
  4. IS IT IMPORTANT TO HAVE A CLEAN HOUSE?
    1. Yes, but not at the expense of being happy. I have other things to do!
    2. Don’t judge me. I know where everything is. What’s that smell?
    3. I folded the laundry and cleaned the dishes that time, remember? Six months ago? Stop bugging me!
    4. That’s your job. What did you do all day, anyway?
    5. I live on my friend’s couch, so, it’s not really an issue.
  5. WHAT`S IN YOUR FRIDGE?
    1. An assortment of foods, covering all food groups. USUALLY.
    2. 100 different kinds of BBQ sauce.
    3. Beer. Mix. Just the necessities.
    4. Rotting food. I’ll get to it. I’ve just been really busy lately.
    5. I am currently, um, between homes. So, it’s not really an issue.
  6. WHERE DO DIRTY SOCKS AND UNDERWEAR GO?
    1. Separated from all other clothes (i.e. underwear removed from jeans; socks out of pant legs) and into the laundry basket.
    2. I don’t know. Where did you put them?
    3. I think I left them under the couch while I was watching the hockey game.
    4. (Sniffs) Do you think I need a change?
    5. These are the only ones I have.
Okay, that’s enough. Basically, if you mostly picked A, you are probably NOT a BUM.
My answers are:
1.B (except that I own my house);
2.A;
3.A;
4.B;
5.A;
6.A
So I’m slightly a bum. Historically I have had a high BUM tolerance. But I’m looking to change that.
My friend got all A’s. A keeper, I think.
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