So, a lot has happened since my last post. For one thing, I am befuddled by the formatting on WordPress. I give up trying to fix my numbered list, below. You’ll figure it out. Also paragraph spacing is a work in progress.
Now that I’m a single woman, a friend and I were talking about the world of dating. We couldn’t agree about whether or not he’s a bum. Odd topic, I know.
I fancy myself a bit of an expert at identifying ‘bums”, since I’ve dated so many. Anyway, I thought I’d compose a little quiz for my friend’s and my mutual enlightenment. It turned out to be worth sharing!
Disclaimer: I know I’m conjuring the image of a homeless person by using the term “bum”. I’ve dated a homeless person and I’ve dated non-homeless people. I assure you, I can tell the difference between a homeless person and a “bum”. They are not always the same thing.
NOTE: All answers are excerpts from my extended research based on participant observation (i.e. My life. True story.)
Take this fun little quiz to see how you fare!
QUIZ: ARE YOU A BUM?
Choose the answers below that best suit your circumstance. At the end, add up your results to find out if you are, in fact, a BUM.
- DO YOU HAVE A JOB?
- Yes. I meet my financial obligations (that means you pay the bills and support the people you are responsible for) and have a little left over for fun stuff.
- Sometimes. But I only work at stuff I like, and I’m behind on the rent in my basement bachelor suite. Do you have an extra bedroom? Are you going to eat that sandwich?
- No. I worked last month, remember? Besides, I’m busy writing (my novel, my poetry, my play, my jokes. Fill in the blank. It`s important, though, that they`re not ACTUALLY writing anything).
- Jobs are so bourgeois.
- I have asked you repeatedly not to interrupt me when I’m thinking
- ARE YOU AN ADDICT OF ANY KIND?
- No. I may or may not drink socially. I can have fun without abusing any substance, drugs, alcohol or other.
- No. Listen, Baby, do you think you know what an alcoholic is? I KNOW what an alcoholic is. My DAD – now, HE was a drunk. You’ve nevr ss seeeen a all co hhoolic! (pours another beer).
- My doctor thinks I should go to rehab. But I don’t have time, and I’m scared I’d lose my job. Hey, can you do me a solid and lend me some of your Imovane? I’m all out.
- That wasn’t me snorting coke. My friends didn’t tell me they’d be doing that. I was just watching, and I was just about to leave. Really? Why are you so paranoid?
- A vaporizer has many uses. It’s not just for inhaling marijuana. You can also use medicinal herbs with it.
- DO YOU RESPECT MY INTERESTS?
- Yes. I don’t share them all, but I think they make you interesting. I’ve tried some of them and learned something from you. I appreciate your support. I love that you respect my interests too.
- Ya Baby! You go ahead and do your stuff! (Fill in the blank with ANYTHING I’m interested in) is not my thing though. You go on and have fun.
- It’s okay, I think. But don’t mention it to my parents, okay?
- What do they cost?
- How do you sit like that all day just reading?
- IS IT IMPORTANT TO HAVE A CLEAN HOUSE?
- Yes, but not at the expense of being happy. I have other things to do!
- Don’t judge me. I know where everything is. What’s that smell?
- I folded the laundry and cleaned the dishes that time, remember? Six months ago? Stop bugging me!
- That’s your job. What did you do all day, anyway?
- I live on my friend’s couch, so, it’s not really an issue.
- WHAT`S IN YOUR FRIDGE?
- An assortment of foods, covering all food groups. USUALLY.
- 100 different kinds of BBQ sauce.
- Beer. Mix. Just the necessities.
- Rotting food. I’ll get to it. I’ve just been really busy lately.
- I am currently, um, between homes. So, it’s not really an issue.
- WHERE DO DIRTY SOCKS AND UNDERWEAR GO?
- Separated from all other clothes (i.e. underwear removed from jeans; socks out of pant legs) and into the laundry basket.
- I don’t know. Where did you put them?
- I think I left them under the couch while I was watching the hockey game.
- (Sniffs) Do you think I need a change?
- These are the only ones I have.
Okay, that’s enough. Basically, if you mostly picked A, you are probably NOT a BUM.
My answers are:
1.B (except that I own my house);
So I’m slightly a bum. Historically I have had a high BUM tolerance. But I’m looking to change that.
My friend got all A’s. A keeper, I think.